Fear of Failure and What To Do Next
Oh boy! This is tougher than I thought. How do people commit to writing a blog or coming up with content?
Truth is, I am terrified to write a blog, even though my dream has always been to write...
Drafting legal documents - easy.
It is factual, it is based on evidence, no imagination needed, and it empowers you in knowing that you can convince and bring forth arguments to get people to see things your way, and boy am I good at that! So much experience... personally and professionally. (Not that it's always a good thing!)
Writing copy... well... it's a work in progress. Everyone likes a different type of copy.
But a blog?
Free-flow writing about my innermost thoughts and ideas to share with the world and hope it resonates with someone!
It's like tasting my dream of being a novelist, but also terrifying that no one cares and no one will ever read it.
Yet, here I am trying and I know it's not perfect.
Nothing ever is!
When I read emails, memos, books, campaign ads, blogs or anything really, I criticize and edit it all in my head. Even text messages! (Considering how many typos I have myself!)
"How is this person publishing this stuff with so many errors?"
Truth is, maybe they should have taken another look before pressing that button. Maybe they were so tired and read it so many times it was missed, because like me, they edit it in their head instead of on paper. Maybe they just published the wrong draft.
Or maybe, just maybe, perfection doesn't matter.
Yes, perfect writing is the goal. The content has to be sharp, edgy, and has to have that pull of commitment to get a person to subscribe and follow you.
I think all of this is true. Learning content marketing and copy writing these last few months have truly opened my eyes.
The one thing I learned though is, if at the end of the day, you have nothing valuable to share, it doesn't matter how articulate you are or how grammatically savvy you are, no one is going to read your stuff.
Do I want my articles to flow and make sense? Obviously!
Do I dream of having millions of followers and hope my law of attraction will just suddenly bring them forth? Duh!
But then it hit me.
If I never start, I will never know if I'm any good at it or worthwhile.
If I never start, how will law of attraction work for anyone to find me?
So here I am, being vulnerable, not being perfect, and trying.
What dreams have you had in life that you hoped would just happen? You're thinking success would just knock on your door because it's written in the stars.
So did I! I moved from Canada to Israel with the information that not only did my career exist, it would be SO easy to find a job working as a law clerk with so many lawyers in the country. I came floating on air.
That is until I spoke to lawyer after lawyer, who in their own cultural way laughed and told me there is no such thing, and, frankly according to the law, is illegal.
I wanted to get back on a plane, run home and get my job back.
That isn't me though. Being a person who doesn't quit so easily, I decided I would show the country who I am and what I am capable of. I was getting a law degree and I was going to be such a good lawyer that I'd make supreme court judge!
Well... that dream didn't work. I had three jobs, was in a language immersion center to help me speak, write and read Hebrew, and went to night school studying law. I didn't do well at all and, to cut a story short, I quit.
I tried to work in several law firms in any capacity that I could and finally, sadly, felt I had to get over my dream career. It was gut wrenching. I lost my identity and my sense of self.
That's how Capital Consulting came to be. I've been working as a freelance clerk for lawyers I've worked with back home throughout my time in Israel (5 years now). I decided I could have another dream and work from home. I made a website, I emailed lawyers. I got interest!
And then... Corona hit.
No one was working. They'd be "in touch", and now, I was living off savings.
So what do I do next? Do I give up and let God, the universe, nature, whatever you want to call it, take over? Have you ever been in this situation?
I started a life coach certification program. I told all of my friends and I had a new dream.
I also took it upon myself to be friendly and extra caring and contact every single one of my phone contacts to check in on them. (It had nothing to do with the fact that I was already in isolation for 3 weeks living by myself and not allowed to go out! ;))
With those calls, I got a job offer! The job was completely out of my realm of expertise, and had it been any other time in my life it would have been an easy no, but I was bored sitting at home studying, I need the money, and she was a life coach I admired, so why not?
Now my life is completely different. I love what I am doing and I enjoy every day!
This is law of attraction!
This is believing that no matter what life throws at you, there is always a solution, a change that will catapult a whole different life and journey for you.
This is surrendering to the universe and letting things knock on your door.
What about you?
How do you handle failures, changes, unexpected surprises?
Have you noticed any knocking on your door?